Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards

I am going to put my foray into running fashion on hold to discuss a new topic: Eddie Edwards, Britain's favourite ski jumper.

Knicknamed "The Eagle" by tens of adoring fans, Edwards became a cult hero in and around Cheltanham during his much anticipated Olympic episode in 1988. Eddie was 20lbs heaver than the nearest competitor, giving him quite a disadvantage. In addition, he was very short-sighted, so always had to wear thick glasses which consistently fogged up, making it hard to see the end of the runway.

The sole British ski jumping entrant in the Calgary Olympics, his Olympic performance in 1988 was everything short of spectacular. He finished in last place in both the 70m and 90m ski jumping contests, losing to the likes of Matti Nykaenan, Matjaz Debelak, and Pavel Ploc.

Edwards was every bit a competitor. When asked what he thought of the mockery he was making of the sport, he had this to say: "Ski officials didn't like all the attention; they said I was making a mockery of the sport. I wasn't. I couldn't be more serious."

Dejected, Edwards did what every respectable loser does and began a music career. He had a #2 hit in Finland and commanded fees of up to $3,000 per gig. Edwards ultimately got back on track, training (but never qualifying) for another Olympics. This despite being a svelte 5'8" and 185lbs for his final attempt in 1998 for Nagano.

The main limiting factor for him was the so-called "Eddie 'the Eagle' Rule." This was written in reaction to his 1988 performance, which stated a ski jumper must place in the top 30% in a series of international competitions in order to eligible for Olympic competition. To this day, Edwards resents that rule. "I resent that rule," he was heard saying.

When asked what he wanted to do after his ski jumping and music careers have petered out, Edwards replied, "I want to be a stuntman, in movies."

Here's to you, Eddie The Eagle, for grabbing the scalding iron of pain and showing the world that you mean business. You truly are the world's stuntman.

Officer Dobbs - Hello I'm Officer Dobbs.

"For me, it's the respect and power that the position commands. I don't know whether to be busting bad guys or signing autographs. It's kinda like being a star." - Me, The Chase

Let's get one thing straight. I am not a police officer. I'm not impersonating a police officer. I also do not play a police officer on TV or in motion pictures. I am, however, impersonating a person who played a police officer in a movie. That is legal. Look it up.

In reality, Officer Dobbs is my nome de plume, which is the Chinese word for pseudonym, which is, in turn, the French-Polynesian word for false identity. Using a false identity has been a preferred tactic for Ninjas, Secret Agents, and phone chat operators since at least the year 1962. While some employ this tactic to create a better identity online, I am employing it to hide my real life identity, which is cool. If you were to ascertain who I really am, you would probably flip out and want me to endorse your business, product or service in televison, radio or print advertisements. (Web sponsorship can be arranged by my business manager.) I just don't have time to do that right now.

What I do have time for is developing the future. That future is Technology and the internet.

Some of you are probably reading this page on your iPhone while riding the bullet train in Tokyo or maybe you're scrolling on your Blackberry while taking the elevator to the top of your LEED certified office building where you run an organic carbon credit hedge fund dedicated to conducting peaceful arbitrage with Costa Rican coffee growers. Get with the times bozos.

Web 2.0 has come and gone. Get ready for web 26.2.

This is the marathon version of the future. It's in for the long haul. And all it needs is a few Gu packets and paper cups filled with water and/or the sports drink of your choice to keep going... and maybe some of those sport jelly beans too... but you get the idea.

On Your Mark. Get Set. Go.

OD

Welcome

Welcome to the first posting of the Scalding Iron blog. My name is Frank Dux. I received great notoriety in the film Bloodsport starring Jean-Claude Van Damme (of Legionnaire fame).

I like to run. Before doing so, stretching is of great importance. Here is Jean-Claude showing his flexbibility:


I always do this stretch before each run. People (and children) stare at me but I know deep down inside that I'll have the last laugh when someone throws magic dust in my eyes and I can still finish the race.


Look for updates to this blog to be sporadic at best. Next up: how to look your best on race day.

Namaste.